Have a Little Faith



This month has been very interesting, very interesting indeed. The events have spiraled and some new developments were made. To start, I ran into an arch nemesis of mine while on a walk about town. Oh golly, that was sure unplanned for. Honestly, we were both taken back, surprised, and a little unsure of “do I run, or do I do walk away?”. Our relationship has been a toss up from the past. Originally this individual was tracking me and making my life miserable, until one day they began yelling at me while I was at my local grocer, grabbed me by my arm, and told me they were taking me to their employer (my super arch nemesis who started all this over a decade ago and is responsible for my ever being in PSP), and something just came over me so I clocked them one, took ’em right out cold, in the grocers. Both of us were not expecting that. The result was for a couple years after, they avoided me like the plague. Then one day we ran into each other, after I had been practicing bringing peace into my life and it was as though they could smell I was no longer a “fight or flight” kind of person. I had become a very gentle person, and so they became the aggressor again. Then at our next fateful meeting, I had reinforcements. It’s been a few years since we’ve seen each other. I have seen them around before at airports and trade centres, but they didn’t appear to notice me. So when we almost walked quite literally into each other on the corner of the street when I was visiting a bank and they were crossing the street, it was as though we were both in the area to avoid other people and were very disconcerned about the other until the pieces of the puzzle abruptly clicked. I’ve seen them twice since. They even had the gall to go into a government service office and demand information about me. Apparently they have been claiming to be a long lost relative and it is imperative that they get in touch with me. Oh sheesh. The government had both of us in, including a couple others for an interrogation. It was rather pleasant. At the time, we did not know we would all be called in, and no we were not called in at the same time. It was just myself, a collective group of police officers and a couple investigative special officers. They were very nice, polite, and cooperative. They just wanted the truth. I think that’s fair. I was surprised at their comments though. Apparently they had been looking for me for quite some time, have no address for me, have surveillance photos dating back over a decade, and couldn’t even find my place of employment. Go me.* I was honest with them, and up front told them where I was staying, what was going on and so forth. They chuckled and said they didn’t realize how close I was to them, they had been searching miles out the other direction. They were excellent officers to say the least. To my surprise they even encouraged me to attend their upcoming career fair and get on with their own PSP team. It’s good to know I’m welcome somewhere :)

This run-in, though unfortunate, has prompted other actions. I will be moving again. Perhaps back to the city, different locale. Last week I was recruited by a different security company. They are more low key and made me an offer to do more mainstream work. This could be very promising. On another note, I received an interview with a very low key, start up IT company. This is definitely different, but equally as promising. No doubt I will need something a little less stressful. All this stress has given way to a 25lb weight loss over the last month, extreme fatigue, running mind, and sleep problems. All I want to do is nap all the time, but I can never quite get to sleep, or stay asleep, even at night. I have been in to see the local doctor, who’s very eager to solve these problems. He’s sent me to get blood work, ECG, Chest X-Rays, and the other day gave me a full physical, and was a little uneasy to see some of the scars I have, my reaction/response to muscle manipulation, how many broken bones and fractures I’ve had in addition to a heart that is beating out of control right now, even while sitting still. Shep waits for me in the main office when I go, and he’s told Shep he needs to bring me back every 3-4 days until they figure it out and can stabilize my condition. We tried anxiety meds, but I had a reaction and began hallucinating and other things happened. Not great. So now it’s mostly meditation, yoga, and a lot of reading and writing to keep me cognitively stimulated and relieve stress. Works. Okay. I’m reading Heart of Darkness by Joseph Conrad, and next I will read Last of the Mohicans. I have read them many years ago, but I enjoy them so much.

I guess this post is a medley really. I’m not completely focused on one thing, and honestly, don’t quite have the willpower or attention span to be focused. Trying to remain optimistic and interested in life still as opposed to napping it all away. In other news, I saw Skyfall for the first time yesterday with Shep. It was interesting to say the least, how we paused the movie, commented, and couldn’t shutup about all the character and action sequences based on our own experience. The movie was riddled with “Haha, I hate it when that happens” to “What are they doing? He would never do that! Not in a million years!” and so forth. But that, really, is a post worthy of it’s own just for commentary sake.

Goodnight and goodluck.


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